There's trouble brewing in the world of gaming ping-pong rivalries, and GameCyte has an exclusive sneak peek at the next grudge match. On Tuesday night, when game enthusiasts came together for the Child's Play Charity Auction & Dinner, the generous members of our industry were able to raise over $200,000 for children's hospitals worldwide. For at least one donor, however, the evening's visit and contributions had been for personal reasons -- reasons of pride, honor, and grinding Penny Arcade's Gabe and Tycho into the dust. On Tuesday, December 9th, at approximately 10:15pm Pacific Time, John Vechey of PopCap Games issued the following challenge through GameCyte: PopCap intends to utterly humiliate Penny Arcade by defeating them at ping-pong.
Earlier that evening, Vechey had offered the winning bid for Lot #108, an invitation to Penny Arcade's office-warming party. The coveted social engagement sold for $4,000, drawing a round of applause for Vechey's valuable contribution to the Child's Play cause. However, Vechey had been bidding with an ulterior motive, as he revealed to GameCyte in a clandestine meeting after the evening's festivities. Vechey admitted to us that, with Penny Arcade now obligated to invite them into their sanctuary, there would be nothing to save the comic creators from being thoroughly crushed by PopCap's superior table tennis skills.
"We will officially make them our bitches," said Vechey, indicating he wished to be quoted as part of his formally issued challenge. Vechey did not indicate how bitchdom was officially conferred in ping pong, but GameCyte assumes that Vechey has already filed a motion with the Bitchmaking Board, and has the deeds and titles already filled out for eventual presentation in the Washington Bitch Court.
Penny Arcade has yet to be reached for comment about filling the newly created position as PopCap's bitches.
December 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
That picture is actually an artist's rendition of what Vechey described Gabe and Tycho would look like after their match.
That's right, he's planning on beating them so badly that they fuse together, age dramatically, and spontaneously change sexes into a flustered, flailing granny.
Now THAT'S some ping-pong skills.