There's no question about it: We, as gamers, are addicted to Top 10 lists. There's just something so... validating about watching the games and characters you know and love being praised by others in the community, and who doesn't want to chuckle along with the latest installment of 'The 10 Worst Videogame Villains' or '10 Ways Sony Screwed Up The PS3 Launch?' But let's face it -- aside from that quick burst of validation, such lists are rather useless.
So, if you'll allow us to get all meta for a bit (I hear it's the fashion nowadays) we'd like to try something a little different: the 10 most ridiculous and/or clever videogame top 10 lists. These lists deserve special merit for either requiring some serious thought to create (sure, you can create a list of hot game babes in five minutes, but what about setting the agenda for budding game designers?) or better yet, for being so completely and totally useless that they serve to parody the very concept of the top ten list. Below are our favorites, along with some brief samples to prove their utility.
10.) The top 10 hurdles facing game designers today, by Popular Science:
4. Artificial Intelligence
Like teaching 1,000 kids to think for themselves overnightProblem: Once upon a time, the bad guys in videogames wandered around mindlessly, shooting at you while they waited to die. That doesn´t cut it anymore. Players demand sophisticated enemies to fight and reliable in-game allies with which to fight them. Thing is, it´s freaking complicated, and it eats up processor speed. "We´re faking just enough smarts to make it work," says Mathieu Mazerole, lead engineer on Ubisoft´s Assassin´s Creed.
9.) Ten things to do with that Xbox 360 power supply, from 1up.com
8.) Top ten banned videogames, from GamesRadar:
8. Pokémon
Banned in: Saudi ArabiaWhy? One of the more bizarre bannings has religious foundations - in 2001 Pokémon and all its associated spin-off games were the subject of a fatwa in Saudi Arabia, which said the games featured the Star of David, which Saudis associate with Israel and international Zionism. It was suggested the games had "possessed the minds" of Saudi children. The edict was expected to be followed rather strictly, as punishments would likely include lashings and deportation.
7.) Top ten sexy sexy game gurus, from GamesRadar
6.) Top Ten Most Ridiculous Character Names, from 1up:
1. Philbright Westriverside Warehouserock XXVI (Zone of the Enders: the Fist of Mars)
Zone of the Enders is a series with its fair share of stupid names (Dingo Egret? Mebius K. Lylecraft!?), but this one takes the cake. Just when you think it can't get any worse, the game hits you with the news that this poor sap is the twenty-sixth one to bear this awful title.
5.) The Top Ten Greatest Elevator Sequences in Videogames, from Chaotic_Fusion at GameFAQs
4.) Ten Most Misleading Videogame Names, from GameDaily:
Halo Wars
If the term "Halo" wasn't forever associated with shooting games, Halo Wars would inspire visions of an epic war among angels, resulting in The Fall. Or, in the very least, describe people beating each other to death with Frisbees. Worse yet, it wouldn't even be an original concept, since that's exactly what players do in TRON.
3.) Top Ten Thanksgiving Traditions Translated To Games, from Games.net:
The tryptophan- Kameo - [ Xbox 360 ]
Don't know what tryptophan is? It's the chemical in Turkey that makes everyone sleepy after the big meal--or the one that people use as a scapegoat to avoid cleaning the table after eating. To help bring about the tryp's side effects, play a couple minutes of the boring Xbox 360 adventure title, Kameo. The lush dreamscapes and lack of action will have you nodding off in no time.
2.) Top 10 Pokemon We'd Like To Eat, by GameDaily
And #1.) The Top Ten Final Fantasy Games, courtesy of GameSpot:
7. Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest (Super Nintendo)
...As the best Final Fantasy game to grace the SNES, Mystic Quest maintained all of the great elements of the previous games in the series, while making them a lot more palatable for regular players. For example, Mystic Quest reminds you that random encounters are really annoying, and for that matter, quite illogical. Whoever heard of walking around an open environment and then monsters appearing from somewhere where there previously weren't any monsters? Not Mystic Quest. And as for wide-open environments? Mystic Quest wasn't having it. You were given a very specific route to take through the main overworld, which face it, is all you really want to do when you're playing a game anyway. All this randomness and wandering around can just confuse a person.
Did we miss any? Leave us a comment below.
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