Released earlier this week via the Wii Shop Channel, Allied Kingdoms' "Planet Pachinko" is certainly something else. Not actually a pachinko game, "Planet Pachinko" is a combination platformer and shooter set within giant pachinko machines.
The premise of the game is this: "In the future of the future," the Robot family's beloved dog "Piddles" is missing, lost within the Pachinkeet Temples -- "elaborate temples dedicated to the game of pachinko." The Robot family (older brother and baseball enthusiast Ops; his younger sister, the baton-twirling Deenee; and their construction worker, single-father Dozey) must enter the temples in search of poor Piddles. Along the way, they must battle exploding pachinko balls, turret traps and equally quirky enemies like a galactic pirate and ninja robot twins.
Pachinko machines, wacky robots, galactic pirates, ninja twins? If only the road to hell weren't paved with good ideas as much as good intentions.
Conceptually, "Planet Pachinko" has fantastic potential, featuring an original premise and setting. Yet the game fails painfully in its execution. Visually, the game is utter chaos. Few games have ever made me ask aloud, "What the hell is going on?" "Planet Pachinko," however, had me doing just that in regular 30-second intervals. Within moments of beginning the game, the screen becomes an indecipherable jumble of pachinko balls, turret gun balls, player weapons (sometimes also balls), healing "space jelly" balls, platforms and posts (which also look like balls), all rendered further indistinct by the temple background pattern. It's simply too much. While mayhem and a hectic visual presentation can often enhance a game with a sense of urgency and activity, "Planet Pachinko" is too hectic -- a mess.
If you can get past the visuals, another drawback is the game's less than intuitive control scheme. Having played in the Wii-mote-sideways position, with the Wii-mote-nunchuck-combo, and with the classic controller, I feel confident saying the controls are intensely awkward. Each character features one melee and two ranged weapon attacks -- fairly standard. But cycling through weapons or moving from ranged to melee can be a mini-game in itself. For instance, in the Wii-mote-nunchuck-combo, you'll find the main controls (movement, aiming, shooting) in the obvious, main button and thumbstick locations. But your melee attack? The 1 button. [CORRECTION: Darren Wilson, creator of "Planet Pachinko" has just written to tell me that you can also simply shake the Wii remote for a melee attack in this configuration. I sincerely apologize for my oversight. I'm the one that failed.]
Even with mastery of the game's controls, formulating any play strategy is elusive. Each ranged weapon interacts with the environment in a different way, but the environment is already so strewn with various balls that it's hard to see what each interaction might be. Hopefully, though, the chaos has beaten you down enough that you are too overwhelmed to care much for strategy. Thankfully, shooting your guns willy-nilly appears just as effective as any strategy I attempted.
Summary: "Planet Pachinko" features an original and engaging concept, but fails in execution. Should you spend 500 WiiPoints on the game? Only if you're more interested in adding a gaming oddity to your collection than actually playing an entertaining game.
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